I have always loved having girlfriends. As a teenager and single woman, I loved getting together with my friends; we would go for coffee, walks, shopping trips, party together, eat pizza, and talk on the phone for hours about our lives, loves and frustrations. There isn’t much that my girlfriends didn’t know about me and vice versa.
When I got engaged and then married, I didn’t see as much of my friends as I used to. I don’t know what happened exactly. You become part of a twosome and that starts absorbing your time. D and I started having some parties for couples which was really fun. But it wasn’t the same.
Once or twice I tried to talk D into going for coffee. Finally he agreed, we ordered, sat there and ate for a few minutes. D doesn’t have much to say at a coffee shop. He looks at the paper and reads. He stirs restlessly. Looks around. Asks, “are you done?” Sigh, D is a great husband and partner, but he’s no substitute for a girlfriend.
Then we had a baby and boy, did that throw us for a loop! It was life changing, and exhausting. It’s all you can do at that point to get a shower, get yourself and the baby dressed and out for some kind of activity, let alone cook meals and make plans with anyone else. It’s not that we didn’t see anybody, but we certainly didn’t see many of our friends until we had a big summer birthday bash for the dude’s first birthday!
Luckily, during that first year, I met two amazing ladies, J and S – both new moms who live in my neighbourhood. We clicked immediately and started going for walks, play dates, shopping, and family outings. It is great to have that support and friendship with two such wonderful women.
By the time my son turned 2 last fall, I’d been at home with him for two years, had started freelancing from home, and I was desperate to get out of the house once a week during the evening to get a break and connect with other adults. But weeknights are a tough time for my working friends to get away.
So I turned to the moms group I started organizing at around the same time to see if any of the other women were looking for opportunities to get together as well. We have the usual play dates, but this this needed to be something for just us!
Last week, I was sitting in the company of five other women at a dinner meetup, drinking a divine glass of Wolf Blass Cabernet Sauvignon, while we poured our hearts out to each other. We shared our birth stories, our fears, our joys and our frustrations as women and mothers. We connected in a way that only women can.
Meeting the wonderful women in this moms group has brought me back to a time in my life that I had been missing. It has that same feeling of getting together with your girlfriends – even though we’re still getting to know each other.
I am so thankful for this experience which has changed my life for the better over the past few months, and I am so looking forward to the next evening out! And yes, I’d like a glass of Wolf Blass with that please!
Who are the friends who create the sanity in your life? Are they moms? Do they know the you from 20 or 30 years ago? Are they new friends who you have connected with as a new mom?<