On Motherhood

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I’ve learned a few things about being a mama in the last few years, and for fun I thought I’d pass on some “half baked” observations on motherhood:

1. Expectant mothers have gorgeous hair during pregnancy but then 4 or so months after you have your baby a bunch falls out and you will wonder if you have some kind of dread disease. Don’t fret. It’s just motherhood, I mean hormones.
2. I knew there would be poopy diapers but not that my baby would let out burps, farts and eventually logs that would make a grown man proud.
3. Even the most patient, kind and loving mother will swear, cry, sob hysterically, and/or have a breakdown if her baby won’t sleep through the night for months at a time. Do yourself a favour and hire a sleep consultant.
4. You know those books that say you can potty train your kid in a weekend? Not so much. It takes time and more than that it takes readiness. When your kid is ready, he/she will be trained and no sooner.
5. Breastfeeding is the best diet you have ever been on. Too bad you can’t do it forever…
6. You don’t really mind being puked on or pooped on when it’s your own child. You just didn’t know there would be so much of it!
7. You’ll whip your boobs out in public places like nobody’s business to feed your hungry baby stop the crying.
8. Remember the times you have seen a screaming toddler or preschooler at the mall? Remember how you just knew your child would never act like that? Be prepared to eat those words mama.

If you are a mother or a father, my hat is off to you. Parenthood is not for the faint of heart!

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